There IS Such a Thing as a Free Lunch

As someone who likes to mooch off other's kindness, the idea of the business lunch is perfect. The boss takes you out, you eat to your heart's content, you talk about business (which isn't THAT perfect), life (which is even less perfect), etc. After the conversations, and usually pressed for time, your boss whips out his or her plastic and all is well with the universe. Without going into semantics, I would have to say that the best type of business lunch is dim sum. You are constantly barraged by waiters and waitresses who offer you some INCREDIBLY del.icio.us (sorry, I just wanted to put that) food and the best part is, you don't have to pay for it! It's a poor college/intern kid's dream come true.

Saying that, you can then understand the initial horror that I felt when I read the title of the ABC News article, Will the Web Replace the Business Lunch?

Of course, upon reading the article and finding out that the article really talks about the dynamics of interviewing and resume writing I was -- to say the least -- relieved. But, not long after feeling relief, I began to feel a little annoyed... similar to how I felt about the Working Together... When Apart article. What is it with the media and misrepresentation? I know that my last rant was about stating the obvious but I feel like it stems from the same problem that the media is filled with a bunch of baboons (or, to be PC, orangutans, gorillas and chimpanzees) from the planet Soror.

But I digress, the ABC News article was interesting and it makes me feel relieved (not to the same degree about finding out that business lunches have been spared) to know that I can put my information on a website like LinkedIn and ZeroDegrees and just wait for the fish to start biting. Its like that banking commercial where all those bankers(?) compete with each other to win the love of the cute little suburban family. That makes me feel good, especially since I'm being offered a job instead of a mortgage that I could never hope to pay off. In a lot of ways, sites like LinkedIn minimize the hassle of trying to get your resume out into the "market."

Similarly, the Collaborage article, Fifteen Uses of Professional Profiles within the Enterprise offers a pretty good summation of most the other articles that relate to professional social networking sites. I mean basically, your entire interview is laid out on a webpage for anyone to see. Not only does this reinvent the workaholic's dating game, but this also gives me the luxury of sitting on my butt doing nothing while other people are looking for me. Would I actually do that? ....I think I'll plead the fifth.

I think it is great that there is a growing demand for sites such as LinkedIn and software from developers like Visible Path, (software that allows companies to integrate all the social networks within the organization) featured in Six Degrees of Cooperation, is great because I believe that the more transparency that exists between people will result in more cooperation and productivity.

No Sh*t Shirlock

Don't you just love it when you see a report on the news or read an article in the paper that states something that is already completely obvious? I remember hearing a report on CNN a few years ago that espoused the benefits of exercising. In fact, I think the report said that exercising will likely increase your lifespan. When I heard that definitive line from the anchor's mouth, my mouth dropped down to floor. Of course exercising increases your lifespan. I don't think that people exercise with the intent that they keel over after. Although, every morning after I run I feel like keeling over.

Now that I'm thinking about it... I also remember hearing a story that said something like eating healthy and exercising has been PROVEN to reduce stress. Well DUH (I would like to use another phrase but I might get in trouble for naughty language). As if I and the rest of frickin humanity didn't know that. I now have the expert opinion of CNN's medical correspondents to make me sleep better at night knowing that my exercising is actually helping me instead of killing me. When I read the article "Working Together...When Apart," I had a similar reaction.

Generally, I enjoy reading top-ten lists. I find them interesting and insightful when they relate to something that I care about. I work for a fairly large (4,000+ employees) international corporation spread over four continents so I really do appreciate the convenience of virtual teams. And since I'm working remotely, I can really appreciate the value of instant communications tools. And this article did a good job at summing up some useful tips when creating virtual teams but there was one thing that should not have been put on that list.

Before I go into more detail the bad tip, I did find the overall article interesting and well thought-out. I thought that tips seven and ten were the most important in their impact on me. I agree completely with the idea that you should not force virtual teams to meet together mainly since it is not a practical endeavour most of the time. I also think that using volunteers is a great way to motivate people to work on projects that they are interested.

BUT, the one thing that made my mouth drop open this time was tip nine. Tip nine states that "ensur[ing] that the task is meaningful to the team and the company" is essential. I would imagine that most people reading a publication from MIT would be smart enough to realize that corporate teams should already be working on meaningful projects for the company. I detect a little CNN here people.

Actually -- I am grateful that MIT told me about tip nine. Finally, I can sleep at night knowing that the market research work I did for VeriSign was actually BENEFICIAL to the organization. Man I'm glad I decided to work on that instead of with the group whose job is to decide what tile colors go best in the bathrooms. MY GOD!!! Next thing you know, they're going to start proving that employees who are happy are more productive! Or that higher sales and lower COGS will result in higher NI!!!! REVOLUTIONARY!!!!

Now I Have an Online Reputation to Uphold Too?

Reputations are HUGE in business. They are a driving force that have the ability to bring great wealth and opportunity to those that have a good reputation. Of course, those types of reputations take A LOT of work. Countless hours brown-nosing (although, hopefully, not enough for others to smell it), myriads of social interactions and occasions and a ton of years all go into building a reputation. Oh yea, delivering on promises and providing timely, high-quality work are also must-haves as well.

It doesn't really surprise me that reputations are starting to move into the online realm and that they are diversifying. There are countless different types of reputations out there now. I think that Rob Hoff made an interesting point on the Tech Beat blog about how reputations can be imported into other areas of ones life given that the context that the reputation is in is the same for both aspects.

Also, the ideas book was interesting as well in how it showed a kind of balance between online reputation building and software agents that go out and search for items that might be of interest to you depending on what you buy. I think it is interesting that reputations seem to be gaining power in the online world. When you think about it, something as rigid and "class-defining" doesn't seem to be what the Internet is all about. That persons opinion matters more than yours or that person is the AUTHORITY on this topic. I guess it's just hard for me to wrap my head around reputations in the Internet. It does bring up an interesting question though. Will the Internet mirror how we interact with each other eventually? Will people be considered authorities within the Internet and use their discretion to exert their will on others?

Some Late Night Thoughts

So here I am sitting in my girlfriend's apartment at 2:30 in the morning trying to figure out how to write something coherent at this time of night when a few things occur to me. One, I should probably be sleeping right now instead of doing homework. Two, not all fast food is created equal (this might explain why I'm doing one instead of sleeping). Three, we have entered what VeriSign would call the "Any Era." I actually want to take this opportunity to mention what VeriSign is doing in terms of streaming content.

About a year and a half ago VeriSign began the "Three-Screens Initiative." In a nutshell, the Three-Screens initiative is the ability to stream live content from the Internet to your computer, phone or mobile device. But that definition really doesn't do the technology justice and since I work in a completely different department then our content distribution teams I really can't adequately explain how exciting this stuff really is. Imagine being able to watch a show like American Idol on your TV, computer or cell phone and then during a commercial break receive discounted tickets to concerts with similar genres. Or imagine that you can instant stream movies from the Internet to your TV, computer or phone. VeriSign actually owns most of the infrastructure that regulates the flow of traffic on the Internet.

Also, VeriSign owns the registries for all the .com and .net domains so basically whenever you are going between websites (like google.com and cnn.com) you are being "transported" via VeriSign's servers.

VeriSign's website link is here but since VeriSign primarily deals with B2B transactions the corporate page is not that interesting to non-users.

The link to the three-screens campaign is here. I recommend that you at least watch the introduction because it's a advertising campaign (IMO).

And of course, if you would like to know more about VeriSign's most profitable business (and the technology that I know most about) then click here to learn more about SSL. But, I have to warn you, this stuff can VERY VERY VERY boring and is only exciting if you pay for Extended Validation... oh god I should probably be sleeping right now. :)

One of the myriad reasons why I hate Kogod.

*****DISCLAIMER****** THIS IS NOT MY OFFICIAL BLOG POST FOR CLASS NEXT WED.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

So I'm just sitting here watching Full Metal Alchemist and trying to think of ways I can explain to my Web Programming professor that I'm going to fail the take-home exam that's due on Friday. A take-home exam... something that by the very definition should not be challenging but should just be tedious and time consuming. But looking at this five-paged monstrosity is making my head spin. I can't even understand the questions themselves, much less fathom an actual answer.

On a brighter note: work is going pretty slow right about now. I submitted a proposal to my manager at VeriSign but I have yet to hear back from him; that's not really shocking considering how busy he is. In the last month and a half he has been in Boston, Amsterdam, Las Vegas, Cape Town (South Africa), Frankfurt and Seattle. Being the director of VeriSign's most profitable BU makes you a pretty popular guy in the company.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a product management intern at VeriSign: a company that specializes in SSL encryption. If you look at my Facebook profile I think I mentioned something like Product Marketing and or Management which are both wrong. I've just been too lazy to change it. Anyway, I suppose that the main reason that I'm writing (or typing since we should all be PC) this post is so that I can lambaste the Marketing department at Kogod. I'm taking the Principles of Marketing class and we have this "term paper" which is total crap. We have to write a five page business memo to the CEO of a company that we are "consulting for" and then write an 8 to 10 page "marketing strategy."

If there is one thing that I have come to realize from working at VeriSign is that people DO NOT have the time to read a bunch of crap on market trends, demographic shifts or statistical models. One of the projects that I am working on is market segmentation data on VeriSign's enterprise customers (basically, really big companies with lots of money) which number about 3,000. Now, shifting through 30,000 line items on an Excel spreadsheet, downloading 12,000,000 corporate profiles from Hoover's, and one month after being assigned the project, I delivered a ten minute presentation. Manager's don't want the nuts and bolts of the data. They want a concise and precise summation of it. Why do you think it is called an EXECUTIVE summary? I find it hilarious that the geniuses in Kogod think that this is the proper way to teach us how to communicate and strategize when it comes to marketing. By writing a paper??? COME ON PEOPLE! Instead, have us write a three to five page summary of our findings and then have us present an oral presentation to the "CEO" (aka professor).

That is what the CEO and the other executives at VeriSign have their employees do. I know that every corporate culture is different but I would imagine that most executives and C-level peeps at a lot of other companies would agree with this.

Well, that felt pretty damn good. I like getting things off my chest. If you managed to stomach my incessant ranting and raving and made it this far then thank you and congratulations. I know that it must have been pretty terrible to have read this.